Day 976: I'm one of 'those' girls now =)

Yesterday I officially crossed something off of my bucket list. . .I completed a half marathon. Yes, my __ lb body carried myself 13.1 miles through the streets of Atlanta.

It wasn't fast, it wasn't pretty and I'm sure at certain points during the half marathon someone would have looked at me and wondered if I was even moving =) But I DID IT!

Now this post will have very little to do with paleo. . .and more to do with how my mentality has changed as a result of CF and paleo, but it took a REALLY long time. . .so I'm hoping to share this in order to speed up the process for anyone else.

One thing you should know about me is that I'm extremely self-aware, which often leads to being self-critical. I know the things I'm good at and the things I'm not good at. I am surrounded by things that I am decent at in most parts of my day - school, writing and writing =) BUT when it comes to all things physical I know I'm not good at those things. I'm not an athlete, never have been and for the majority of my young adult life I didn't move.

That's right - I didn't move

. . .or if I moved I moved from couch to food. Which of course caused the ridiculous amount of weight I gained. Finally, when I started my weight loss journey I was so out of shape it was a struggle to do anything - mostly, because I was embarrassed. I remember being too embarrassed to use the machines at the gym and took group classes for about 6-8 months in order to not be seen. When I did use the machines and felt comfortable enough I started running - it seemed natural to me to run to lose weight. . .but my body could only take so much. I would run for 30 seconds at a time and walk 4 1/2 minutes. repeat. One of the trainers came up to me at the gym and told me that I didn't need to run and could hurt myself. All of those things obviously contributed to how I see my physicality. Basically, I've felt that I'm not one of those people. . .you know, those people who grew up playing sports, who ran in college just to run, etc.

Unfortunately, seeing myself that way created so much negative self dialogue in my head for a long time. I would estimate that the entire first year of my membership at cf was not fun for me because I was so concerned with the board, my time, how I compared to so and so, etc. . .And while I worked out I would tell myself these awful, awful things (yes I talk to myself while working out - who doesn't - right?).

The combination of spending two weeks in Europe (and recognizing that Americans [including myself] are some super scary high anxiety, Type A crazies) and my approaching half marathon forced me to reflect on what I was telling myself and to shift my focus.

Instead of allowing my thoughts to even get to the point where I started to worry about coming in last or how I was doing in comparison to so and so, I simply stopped. . .Instead I told myself (on repeat) all of these positive things

"Your body can do this"
"This is mental - your body will do it"
"It doesn't matter how long it takes you, you're doing it"

So I tried that approach at CF when I came back - and surprise surprise, it made working out more bearable =)
And yesterday, that's what I did for 13 miles. . .I only allowed myself to say positive things the entire time. The second a negative thought came in - I let it go, quickly. . .It was amazing what a difference it makes.

It was at the end of the race that I realized, sure there are other people who have more physicality, who have been life long athletes, but now I have something that they have to - a mentality that physically I'm as strong and able as I tell myself I am.

Is it really that simple I wonder - can you really just keep telling yourself you can do something, and than you can do it? I hope so. . .because now that I've crossed that off my bucket list I have to get to some other things.

PS - I would be remiss if I did not shout out my supporters. . .where do I begin. The folks who have supported me all along the way, new and old friends, life long friends, runners and non-runners. Your support is immeasurable. I recognize that this is not a journey I have gone through alone, and it is only possible because of friends that have become family, and family that loves me through it all.

Day 4: Support Systems for Your New 'Lifestyle' and my plea for an espresso maker

Before I talk about support systems and all of that touchy feely stuff I must ask someone for an espresso maker. Thanks - I had espresso today and it's DELICIOUS. Why haven't I been drinking espresso all along and why don't I have one in my house. So here's my deal. If you buy me an espresso maker when I am on Tyra or Oprah I will mention the lasting impact you have had on my life and. . .cry, as I talk about you - which I think is a fair exchange. =)


Anyway, the point of this blog is really my pitch for Crossfit. I went back and forth about writing this blog because those of you that know me have heard me talk about it and those of you who go to Crossfit already know these things. However, I had to write because I think after I explain this it will explain WHY I'm doing this nutrition challenge and most importantly how I think I'm going to stay strict for 30 days.


Before I went to Crossfit Peachtree I had lost the majority of my weight on Weight Watchers and at gym's (my most recent being LA Fitness in Buckhead). I was running a LOT - like LOTS of miles every day. . .and than would do weights and abs. Most days I would spend over 2 hours in the gym - slaving away - feeling bad about myself as I ran my 5.0 for an hour and the girl next to me ran at 7.8. Than I would go over to the weight machines and do them and just feel even worse because it was SILENT. No one talks to you - no one smiles at you or asks you how you're doing. After 3 years of doing everything by myself I was getting FRUSTRATED. My weight wasn't moving at ALL, in fact it was going back up and I felt just to maintain my weight having to run over 25 miles a week seemed stupid. 


Also, I didn't really feel like I had anyone who understood my goals, my struggles, my past. . .when you don't have people who support and participate in your lifestyle choices (eating healthy, working out 5+ times a week, etc.) it's hard to a even find someone to talk about it who gets it.


So enter Crossfit Peachtree. And dare I say - for me, it has been life changing (btw Tyra or Oprah if you'd like me to be on your show about Crossfit I'd be honored). 


First, I know about 80% of the people in my gym, by name and they know me. They ALWAYS encourage me during a workout, are willing to sit and talk with me about whatever - what we ate this weekend, what we didn't eat, what we wanted to eat, etc. =) We trade recipes - we commiserate about watching people eat things we don't =) But most importantly every single person is supportive of each individual. Despite popular belief there are a WIDE range of folks in the gym, and ANYONE can do it. I appreciate that. I appreciate that no one expects me to be the fastest or best, but will encourage me as I try. . .try to lift cars that is =)


Anyway, my point is. There is NO WAY possible I would make it through this challenge without the support of a large community of people at my gym. Can you imagine doing 30 days of strict anything without having a support system? Not possible. . .So anyway - whatever you're doing or have been doing I can promise you it will work a lot better if you try a Crossfit near you.


So that's my blog post - try crossfit. . .just do it. . just go in one day and try it. 


PS - In one year I've put 7 1/2 lbs of lean muscle on my body. . .was that ever going to happen at LA Fitness? hahahaha - NO =)


PPS -
On another note  I have introduced two ladies at my gym to spaghetti squash and as I predicted it is LIFE ALTERING. . .I'm not sure who you are and why you haven't tried spaghetti squash but you need to get it together. 


Here's an EASY way to cook it. 


Cut the spaghetti squash in half and scrape out the seeds. . .drizzle olive oil, garlic salt, and pepper over the squash. Season well. Bake it in the oven at 350 for about 45-50 minutes. 
Make some meat sauce and call it a day. ..