This is the start of a three part series on balance. My favorite little nugget has written the second part but I'm writing the first in a spirit of openness and honesty (maybe some of you have felt this way - maybe some of you haven't).
I am an internal stressor. Period. This means that often my stress just continues to build until it gets taken out on my body. In high school I used to stress out so badly (prepare yourself this is disgusting) that I would have a mouth FULL of canker sores. . .NOT adding to my kiss ability as a high school girl either =)
Currently, being in a Ph.D. program I am quite familiar and accepting of stress, I've learned to deal, and that frankly stress is just part of my life. I also don't let it rule my life. But the last few weeks have been quite overwhelming with school stuff, dissertation stuff, teaching stuff, etc. Yesterday I went to CF and could barely row during the warm up. . mentally I wasn't there - I was thinking about all the other things I had to do and I just couldn't turn it off. Physically I felt pretty drained (all week actually) BUT I didn't want to seem like a lazy ass, and I didn't want to seem like I was letting my stress dictate my activities. So I ended up doin' a very half assed version of the workout but I just couldn't pull it together. Running felt like I was dragging around two ton bricks on my legs and I could barely push press 65 lbs over my head (which for me is silly - often times I'll pick up 65 lbs and wonder if I have the right weight on the bar because it seems so light)
Needless to say it was ridiculous and pitiful. I went home - feeling even worse since I 'failed' during that wod and started to wonder if maybe I needed a few days off. Then I went into all the crazy negative talk
"Why do I need rest days - I take Wednesday and Sundays off"
"It's not like I'm doing anything abnormal in the gym - in fact, most days I come in towards the end of the pack in the workouts"
"Why do I need an extra rest - what's my problem, suck it up"
"I'm never going to lose this weight if I do this sort of thing"
But then I started to think that MAYBE I do need a rest - and what's it going to hurt if I take two mental and physical rest days. . .walk my dog, stretch, etc.
And that's what I plan to do.
Normally I workout Friday and Saturday. Well this week I'm taking Friday (today) and tomorrow off. I'm going to walk my dog extra, stretch a whole bunch and just gear up for the next week (my last week of classes EVER btw). =)
But most importantly, I'm NOT going to allow myself to wear myself down because of my negative crazy self talk. . .if crossfit has taught me anything, it's taught me that THAT is a waste of time =)
So folks. . .what about you? Do you ever feel that your body and mind need a break? Do you take one? What do you do if you take one?
Hugs - THROUGH the interwebs (muhahaha - I can't help myself)